Laughing at Ethiopia’s 2015 Elektion[Professor Alemayehu G. Mariam]

Susan Rice

It is said that “smile and the world smiles at you.”

Does it follow that if you laugh at the world’s most ridiculous election, the world will join you laughing?

Last week, Susan Rice, President Barack Obama’s National Security Adviser, broke out in uncontrollable laughter when she affirmed the recent 100 percent elektoral victory of the ruling Thugtatorship of the Tigrean People’s Liberation Front (T-TPLF) in Ethiopia.

At a press conference (forward clip to 1:27) on Obama’s trip to Kenya and Ethiopia,  Susan Rice busted out laughing immediately after she stated that the election of the “Prime Minister of Ethiopia” is “absolutely – 100 percent democratic”.

Reporter Isaac: Does the President consider the presidents of Kenya and Ethiopia democratically-elected Presidents?

Susan Rice: I think the Prime Minister of Ethiopia was just elected with 100 percent of the vote, which I think suggests, as we have stated in our public statements, some concern for the integrity of the electoral process — at least if not in the outcomes then in some of the mechanisms that supported the process, the freedom for the opposition to campaign.

Reporter Isaac: But does he [President Obama] think it was a democratic election?

Susan Rice: Absolutely – 100 percent.

Susan Rice: Busts out laughing uncontrollably.

What was so funny about the reporter’s question?

Is there something inherently funny, manifestly ridiculous about any government or regime claiming to “win” an election” by 100 percent?

When Saddam Hussein used to tell the world that every one of his 11 million people voted for him, people would chuckle and smile. But they would never bust out laughing to the point of falling off the lectern.

No politician ever busted out laughing commenting on North Korea’s 100 elektion victory.

Was Rice laughing her behind off because she knew the T-TPLF elektion was a complete joke and was expecting a question on it. When the question was finally asked, she could not help herself but bust out laughing?

To really appreciate the significance of Rice’s laughter one must watch the video of her press conference several times.

It is obvious her laugh was perfectly spontaneous. The laughter just gushed out of her uncontrollably.

It was definitely not a nervous laugh. She was not laughing out of embarrassment that she actually said the T-TPLF’s 100 percent elektion victory is really democratic.

It was not the sinister laughter of the villain in the movies.

It was not the giggle of a school girl.

It was not even the cynical snicker of the politician.

It was not a casual chuckle. Hee, Hee…

Susan Rice’s laughter was a snorting, rip-roaring, hearty, straight-from-the-gut and almost-out-of-breath laugh.

She was busting out with laughter at her own punchline.

“Absolutely – 100 percent!” Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Haha….

It was a contagious laugh that swept anyone watching and listening to her.

I joined Susan Rice in the laugh-athon. (But I laughed just to keep from crying about the daylight theft of the voice of the Ethiopian people.)

But I laughed my behind off.

I was stomping my feet, slapping my thighs and damn near rolling on the floor.

Mmuwhahaha, muwhahaha…

Truth be told, I enjoy laughing at the Thugtatorship of the Tigrean People’s Liberation Front Party.

I enjoy laughing at the bumbling, bungling and graceless marionette prime minster Hailemariam Desalegn as he tried time and again to mimick and make himself a Meles clone.

In 2014, Hailemariam visited Virginia and hectored that state’s governor for his incompetence in completing a light rail project. “Here in Virginia, the big country, it has taken them 7 years [to complete their light rail]. We are finishing our in 3 years.”

When I heard a clueless malaria researcher had become a “foreign minister” overnight, I busted out laughing. When I saw the video of a 12 year-old kid bamboozling the same “foreign minister”, I was rolling on the floor laughing breathlessly.

Every time I see T-TPLF “generals” in their cheap suits (I did not say uniforms), I laugh. They look like stick men in drab green.

But I did not laugh when the Thugtatorship of the Tigrean Peoples Liberation Front announced its 100 percent victory.

I had predicted they would a year earlier.

I was the only person to predict on the record a year before the May 2015 election that the T-TPLF would win by 100 percent and explained how and why that would happen.

I am not trying to pat myself on the back, I am just stating a fact, a funny fact.

For a fleeting moment, when I saw Rice’s video laughing off her behind at the press conference, I thought she was laughing at the sorry-behind TPLF bush thugs.

Then it dawned on me.  I stopped laughing. Cold!

I thought to myself, what if she is not laughing at them but the Ethiopian people for being duped into voting in an elektion?

I remembered what Rice said at Mele Zenawi’s funeral in 2012.

She proudly told the world that her buddy Meles believed the whole lot of them were “fools and idiots.”

Could it be that Susan Rice was laughing because she believed Ethiopians must be “fools and idiots” to accept the T-TPLF’s 100 percent victory as democratic?

As I watched Rice’s video over and over, it occurred to me that I am actually laughing at her, not with her.

I laughed at her for the same reason I laugh when I watch the cartoon movie Puff the Magic Dragon.

Puff and the little girl he took to the Land of Living Lies have a friendly argument about purple cows and pink elephants. But there are no such things as purple cows and pink elephants!

But there is an “absolutely 100 percent” 100 percent elektion victory by a single political party?

Only in the Land of Living Lies!

Mwahahaha! Mwahahaha! Mwahahaha! Mwahahaha! Mwahahaha! Mwahahaha!….

Thanks for the comic relief, Susan Rice. I needed one…

Mwahahaha! Mwahahaha! Mwahahaha…

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